We prefer to avoid them. When we can’t (the cost of avoidance outweighs the benefits) it’s because the chips are on the table. The risk is high and the outcomes are uncertain.
To add to this pressure conversations are always between people. Each person includes a package of hopes, fears, expectations, history and preconceived ideas. All these variables create immense volatility that is hard to predict.
In most cases, all these unpredictable variables come into play when they are triggered. This creates the need for a tough conversation. In the same way, by addressing the trigger, the other variables dissipate.
Tough conversations are tough because we get lost in the quagmire of consequences. It’s usually quite easy to resolve when we find the cause.
It’s like panning for gold in the river. It’s cold and uncomfortable. When you know what to look for, it’s a treasure.